Kidderminster, UK – Orphans at the Dinkleton’s Home for the Poor are in an uproar after it was accidentally revealed that most children have adults in their lives who love and support them. The problem started when the word “parents” was accidentally included in the weekly vocabulary lesson. While the teacher quickly retracted and edited the word off the list, the cat was out of the bag. The orphans managed to find the word in an uncensored dictionary that was smuggled inside.
It currently is not clear how the illegal dictionary was brought onto the premises, but the long-term effects could be devastated. The last thing anyone wants is for these orphans to become too aware of how terrible their lives really are. By keeping parentless children isolated and ignorant we give everyone the best quality of life possible. The children at Dinkleton’s now want to be treated with dignity and respect, something they previously did not know existed.
Dinkleton administrators are quickly working to resolve the issue by convincing the children that there is no such thing as love. That it may be true other kids have adults in their lives, but that they only bring misery and despair. If the orphans remain unconvinced, the general Kidderminster populace may be looking toward each new generation of parentless children being even more annoying. Town councilors are investigating whether the orphanage committed any violations. Mayor Sarah Rook said in a statement that “whether or not Dinkleton’s is in violation of any laws, the fact of the matter remains. Us normal people are have to think about those dirty waifs. Something has to be done”. The council is putting together a proposal to bolster security by increasing the height of the orphanage’s walls and add barbed wire.