Jimbo Jankers also known as Fat Cat is the hottest rapper in the game and suffered a hilarious injury this past July. Jankers was freestyling by his pool when he slipped and fell, causing a fragment of his disc nucleus to be pushed into his spinal canal, causing a rupture is his annulus. No other rapper suffers as much debilitating pain and he is not going to let you forget it. He released his new hit single “My Back Hurts” ahead of his upcoming album “Spine Thyme”. The controversial album is rumored to be the first in a new genre called quantum funk. The multi-dimensional sound of quantum allows for the construction of visual music. “It’s like mushrooms from my vocal chords. You’ll never hear anything like it” exclaimed the Kanye West understudy.
Jankers funded a conservative Washington D.C. think tank, whom he tasked with developing quantum funk. He needed a better way to communicate the anguish his herniated disc causes him daily. Spine Thyme’s tracks promise to bring wicked, anatomically accurate visual representations of the rapper’s skeletal and muscular systems, both before and after his goof by the pool. Fans are excited to fully understand what kind of spine this hot tamale is walking around with.
The album has been met with some backlash over its preorder perks. Anyone who preorders Spine Thyme will receive a free herniated disc of their own from Jankers or one of his staff. Medical experts are warning that this might not be the path to enlightenment that the superstar wordsmith purports. These criticisms are amplified by the lack of scientific research into the benefits of the injury. Some critics also claim that the rapper’s slogan “Injuring your back is better than crack” may be a harmful message for young people. The aching rapper responded by saying that “If you’re life is too good you gotta give yourself some pain or you’ll have nothing to rap about”.