Bees. The insects of the animal kingdom. Some are fluffy and some are not. There are times when a bee might get on your nerves. In that case you will want to tell the leader of the bees to leave. These creepy critters have a constitutional monarchy headed by a queen. Each hive has their own queen, and the bees need to make sure that their message is delivered directly to the queen. If I were the writer of a light, fluffy blog, this article would be filled with bee puns. Lucky for you, we here at PaperSlop/Paperslop/Paper Slop pride ourselves in bringing you nothing but the facts. Hard hitting journalism at it’s finest. Without further ado, here is how to tell those pesky little furballs how to get the heck out of your wife.
Getting face time with a hive leader is no easy thing. So, your first task will be procuring a disguise. Something that says I am not from around here, but wherever I’m from, I’m important. So, wear something bright and silky. Avoid the colors black and yellow. You are a human, not a bee.
Once dressed up, knock on the hive. Make sure the knock is firm, and the meter measured. You are announcing your presence, letting them know that you are the human ambassador sent from the United Nations. Now readers, we all know there is no such thing as a human ambassador, but these bees have a few blind spots. The bees should let you into their hive without much question. Who are they to deny such an important human?
You will be led to the throne room where you will be asked to stand before her majesty. Do not, under any circumstances kneel. To kneel in front of a bee is to flaunt your impressive human knees in front of their small, disgusting bee knees. Finally, you are in front of the queen, and able to communicate with her. You must say the following exactly as I write it here, or things could turn dastardly. “Yo queen, you been buzzing up and down this street. So why don’t you buzz right on outta here”? At this point the bees will collectively buzz aloud. Take this opportunity to leave. After a few minutes, the hive will fly away with the bees still inside. Congrats, you have now officially told that queen bee to buzz off. You won’t have to deal with that honey for at least three more weeks. For more tutorials, be sure to follow our Wikipedia page.